Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. For weeks I’ve been racing cyclocross in warm, sunny, dry conditions, all a while hearing stories of what cyclocross is really about. The cold, the rain, the mud, the thick goo… We’re now down to the last race of the series and so far have not yet seen true cyclocross conditions. I want to play in the mud and rain, I wished, just like when I was a kid, only now I wouldn't have to answer to mom when I come home.I arrived in Portland the day before to meet up with some friends for dinner. It was raining, it had been raining, and it was going keep raining. Race day I awoke to... yep, more rain. My wipers were working overtime as me and a friend made our journey to Hillsboro Stadium. After arriving I suited up to take a few warm up laps before my event. This actually made me colder so I road back to my car, got in and turned up the heat. After my "warm up" and a quick stop at the port-o-let I arrived at the start line with a second row starting position after the call-ups. 20 minutes to start and I was already getting cold. Running in place... jumping jacks... whatever I could do to stay warm.
The race start was approaching and my nerves were starting to get the best of me. Do I wear sunglasses to protect the eyes, would they get coated with mud and not allow me to see? I decided against the glasses as so did the majority of the group. I now had to pee again. Still cold, jumping up and down and having to pee. Not a good combination. This could be easily remedied I thought, I mean, I was already wet -- right????.....
Bang! The start was a long strait stretch of paved parking lot. Plenty of room to get a good position in the lead pack. Now wishing I had my sunglasses I could not get a good draft due to the spray of road grime in my eyes forcing me to ride on the outside. A hard left turn forced a realization the it actually was slick out there as my rear tire slid out, slingshotting me from the inside of the turn to the outside. Staying up right I continued to power on. A right turn brought us to our first mud bog. Ok, not so bad, a little sticky but ridable. Up on a flat and fast dirt road now. Grime flinging in my eyes, I could hardly see; constantly blinking. My left eye temporarily out of commission as my contact sifts due to the overpowering grime. Now riding with one good eye, I see our first set of barriers approaching. My dismount was too late. I blame this on having no depth perception as a result of mud in my eye. As I leap one direction over the first barrier my bike slams into it forcing it in the other. I'm now a human mobile with bike, arms and legs flailing every which direction as I do my best to stay upright and not fall on the second barrier. Left foot, knee, right foot, twist, step, reach, hand, left, right, left, right... remount, pedal, pedal, pedal... whew, that was close!

The dirt road now turns to another mud bog. This time there is a deep puddle leading into the thick goo. I think I can ride it. Nope! Stopped dead in my tracks. Note to self: Run this next time. The spectators that have congregated to this spot are now screaming "run! run!" I'm now running, slightly up hill in thick goo, hoping not to loose my shoes. Man, this crap goes on for ever. After leveling off, I get tired of running in goo and remount to make an effort at riding it. The crowd is now yelling "ride! ride!" It is ridable, though not much faster than the guys running next to me. The goo clears and I get back up to speed for a bit before dropping back into it again. Front wheel turning this way and that, just trying not to run off course into the course markers. Another set of barriers forces a dismount and run up a short hill. Remount fine, clipping in, not so fine. I spent precious seconds smacking my foot against the peddles to try to clear the twigs and grime from my cleat. Once clipped back in, down we go again into a quick off camber visit to the mud. Down I go, over the handlebars flat on my back. Note to self: avoid the big hole.

My hands now are very cold and am having difficulty holding on to the bars. The second lap was better than the first as I stayed up right and remembered some of the tricky sections from the first although each successive lap seemed to get more sloppy than the previous. Mud continued to fly. My eyes seemed to catch most of it as I was really struggling to see. Blink blink - clear - blink, blink - blur. The mud in my eyes felt like sand paper, it was really starting to hurt now. "Ok, one more lap, you can hold out for one more lap." I could really start to feel the weight of the mud and grime collecting in my cloths, my bike and my shoes. I thought to myself: "how was I ever going to get them clean again?" ...Ok, not really.Four laps total and finished in 17th. Just squeaking in under the 18 limit for points earning. It was now time to clean up and head home. Cleaning up was not quite as successful or rewarding as I has forgotten my solar shower at home. I wiped what I could with a small towel and hid the rest with my street cloths.
Results for Men B: http://app.obra.org/results/2007/Cyclocross/6467#race_90349
Video: http://www.crosscrusade.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1523&PN=1
All in all, a great series with plenty of friends and co-racers for support and company. Thank for reading and for all your encouragement.
Happy Holidays!
Ryan Brown






















